


Are You Okay?

by reptillian_paladin



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Seizures, Suicide Attempt, so yeah if you could be triggered do not read
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 06:11:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8193238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reptillian_paladin/pseuds/reptillian_paladin
Summary: Newton is doing just fine. They canceled the apocalypse, everything's great.You know, besides the seizures he gets almost daily that he doesn't tell anyone about. He figures it's not worth worrying about.Until it might get other people hurt. He can't let the kaiju use his mind to figure out how to come back. And there's only one immediate solution to prevent them from getting information. Unfortunately, that involves him dying, but he's willing to do what he must.





	

"I'm fine, dude."

Newton found himself lying more and more these days.

"Nothing's wrong."

Seizures, bloody noses, pain. All part of the daily routine. But the only person it'd hurt was him. He'd checked, he watched Hermann for days to make sure the same wasn't happening to him. Must have been from the time he went in alone.

"Things are going good."

It was still there, in his brain. The kaiju. A universe away but still in his mind. Though it wasn't anything new. Maybe, he thought, it was the ghost of what used to be, something that no longer existed. He liked to think that, because the alternative was that kaiju were still communicating with him, that there were two sides of the connection. He hoped not.

"Why do you ask?"

It was always harder to hide from Hermann. They couldn't always read each others' minds still, but they had readings on what the other was feeling. Hermann was frustrated a lot. Sometimes at the problems he was solving, but most of the time at Newton. He knew he was hiding something. He could feel his distress whenever the seizures started up. A few times Newton could barely wipe his nose of the blood and get up off the floor before Hermann barged in the room, looking as if he expected to find him dead. Newt always gave him a small wave and fought off his questions. After a few close calls, Newton decided to work somewhere a little further away. No one needed to worry about him. The only person this was going to hurt was him.

"Never been better."

Except he wasn't so sure anymore. While he didn't work with Hermann anymore, he visited from time to time to see what he was researching. He was trying to learn more about the breach and how it was made to prevent it from ever opening again. Newton, after sitting through the explanations, felt vaguely ill and excused himself. He barely made it home before he collapsed in a seizure, the same as always, the bloody nose, the same things repeated in his brain. Until it wasn't. He saw a kaiju examining the aftermath of a nuclear blast. New information. When he got off the ground, his head hurt worse than ever before. He felt as if he might die. After puking a little, he knew for certain he would have to do something.

"I have to go."

He had to die. Thinking about it, it was the only thing that made sense. He had to assume the kaiju were getting more information from him than he was from them. And he was just told crucial information about how the breach could open again. So he started recording.

"A note didn't feel right." Newt licked his lips, and then gestured around him. "This is all for scientific reasons. I have to do this to save people. To stop the kaiju from learning too much and coming back. So yeah, I'm a big hero, just so everyone's clear on that."

"Anyway, I've been having seizures regularly, but they usually involved repeats of what I gathered from the first drift. I thought it was sort of like a ghost of- the point is I didn't think that there was a kaiju out there who could hear me. But today I saw something new. And if I'm learning new things from the kaiju, they're learning from me. So the sooner I'm dead, the sooner I can be sure they won't use me to destroy our world. I already know too much that they can use so-" He ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath.

"So- anyway, my poison of choice is my favorite coffee with a hint of cyanide. Don't ever say I didn't go out in style." He brought the warm mug to his lips, then put it down. "Waiting a few minutes won't hurt, right? I've been working on explanations and didn't even say my goodbyes. So, first-"

His door was slammed open, and his former lab partner barged in as fast as he could, turning to look at Newton.

"I don't know what you're doing, but you're about to do something idiotic, I know it."

A ghost of a smile flashed across Newton's face. "Calm down Hermann. I'm fine."

"You expect me to believe that? Not only can I literally sense things like this for you, but you're pale as a sheet, your nose is bleeding profusely, and your eyes are completely bloodshot."

Dammit. Newton stopped recording. "Don't worry about it, Hermann." He warned. 

"You were recording something, weren't you?"

"No I wasn't. Back off."

Hermann did the opposite. He approached where Newton was sitting and knocked his hand from the mouse before he could delete the file he had just created.

"Play it."

**Author's Note:**

> i rlly. am kinda lazy and might not continue this. i was actually looking all day for someone to just hand this prompt to so i could sit back and watch it happen but alas i did this much on my own,,, no but srsly if anyone likes the setup of the first chapter and wants to continue it hmu u will write better than i.


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